It seems to me like the hottest accessory in Hollywood now isn't the latest Louboutin shoes, Hermes bag, or a furry little dog you can stuff in your tote. It's having a bun (or two) in your oven.

Everybody is getting knocked up left and right! What is going on out here? And it's not just celebrities either. In talking to one of my homegirls not too long ago, she told how she's ready to have kids (but didn't want to tell her boyfriend of 4 yrs for fear of freaking him out...understandable). My other homegirl is in such a hurry to finish her Masters and get her Ph.D. so she too can get the ball rolling. The only thing that seems to be slowing them up are their pursuits in higher education.

Still, the very idea or feeling of readiness when it comes to having kids scares the be-Jesus out of me. This isn't like the chicks in high school that got pregnant and just kept their babies. These are women who genuinely feel that, at least emotionally, they are ready to bear children. I can't get mad at that but, I can only speculate where this is coming from. To be honest, I haven't the slightest clue.

Don't get me wrong, I love babies. I love holding them, kissing them, I don't even mind changing the diapers and the crying. But having one of my own? I'm not so sure about. In two weeks, I'll be 23. My mom had me 2 days after she turned 25. I think back to 2 yrs ago and how quickly the time has flown since then. I can't imagine 2 yrs from now giving life to a little person. I don't even have a steady boyfriend (or unsteady for that matter), so it's not like I could even see myself married by then (being an unwed mother is highly frowned upon in my family).

One of my biggest fears of motherhood is simply being a f*ck-up. I know, of course, that there's really no way to be fully prepared for that sort of thing. Being a mom is sort of trial and error. But when it comes to another person's life, someone highly impressionable, those are waters that I don't feel comfortable testing. I can screw up my own life, but I don't want my child laying on a chaise in the psychiatrist office like "Mommy ruined my life." I'd never be able to live with myself.

I look forward to and embrace being Auntie C to all of my friends children someday. My own kids though? I'm leaning more towards hell-of-no. I know it would break my mother's heart to not have any grandbabies (she should've had more kids--the weight of the world on my shoulders, I tell you). But what am I supposed to do? Get knocked up to fulfill society's standards?

There's a lot of things I've met with a level of uneasiness, and with my age I've warmed up to more and more. But child-rearing is something that I've always had cold feet about. I'm not exactly sure if that's normal or something that I'll just "grow into", but I guess only time will tell.